amaniiiii

oh hey you're cute and amazing...
:] xo

what the fuck

i can't believe you would do something like that. i have no sympathy for you. don't ever do that to my fucking friend again, EVER. my friends are like family, and i swear to god you do not fuck with their emotions like that. don't give him some bullshit excuse like "i don't want a boyfriend for college".. you go to dinner with him because he asked you to. he wanted to work things out, explain his side of the story, and you just sit there and bitch at him the whole time. how fucking dare you. then an hour later, right after fucking dinner, we see you at dq with another guy. really bri? really? you will never know how much you upset him tonight. he actually cared about you, so much that he was crying when we got back in the car. you heartless fucking bitch. i will never talk to you again. i have never felt so much anger towards someone for them doing something to my friend... not friend, more like family. i really hope you're happy with how much you've fucked with his emotions. you're a bitch.

oh

hi guys..


lolol, who reads this still?

Uhhhhhhhh

C'est la vie, as they say L.O.V.E eloquently, see dream has a part two
Never same, you got to keep it tight, all fresh just like back then, now hear me out...
Understand the time has finally come to realize the great power of 1,
All formulas equalize under the Sun, Amen!

So, why the fuck did girls stop talking to me? LOL, this blows. But I guess it is what it is. I just miss that female companionship =D
You know that feeling, when you stay the night at someone's house and you just feel like, "bleh i just wanna go home now" in the morning? Or after you go somewhere, and you don't feel like doing anything except for going home? I get that feeling a lot. But I rarely go home, I always go to Mitchell's. And it feels like home, I feel satisfied when I go there, as satisfied as I would be if I went home. A pretty good feeling, having a second home and all. I can go there whenever I want without notice, and for any reason. Life's pretty good, just gotta get mah hands on an ipod... and a woman. =D

Real Talk

I don't know how to explain life, right now. I hate writing here, because I make myself look like shit. But I don't mind, judge if you'd like. My drinking lately, has taken me to the past. It now takes me four 40oz's to get drunk, that's 20 beers... My smoking is excessive, but it's what makes me feel good. Going back to North is good for me, really good. My friends are great. I need to make a list of what I have learned this year, it may have been my most important year yet. I can keep this life goin, I've been fortunate for majority of it. I haven't seen you in a long time, but I saw you at the fair. It's weird, because I never thought I'd think of you like this, but I sort of like you. You're cute, and realllly nice. I don't see anything happening, or you even liking me. But it's alright, as long as we talk :) I'm sorry to everyone who saw me at the fair, fucking trashed out of my mind, not that I did anything bad, or that I regret it, I was just probably annoying as FUCK. Stoned and hammered, it was nuts. I'm especially sorry to you, I said I would hang out with you that night, but I didn't. If I wasn't so drunk, I would have made sure to hang out. We've only hung out a few times this summer, and it's my fault. The sophomores this year are douchebags, if you walk up to me at a party, you better not try and drink my fucking 40. FOR REALS, haha. I still can't phathom the fact that you are buying cases of 40oz's at 16, without an ID. This summer has by far been amazing, getting drunk with alll the girls and friends, being stoned every single day, and just living shit up. I hope I don't get deeper again, I've been pretty fucked up lately. But I'll let it be, it's life, I live once. Lightin up now, latessss.

Shadow Of A Man

I'm proud of you for doing what you want, choosing who you want, and feeling how you want. You put all of your blame on me, but I'll take it all, no matter the size or depth. I want to help you out, even though he doesn't approve. He thinks I like you, and that you like me, but if that happens, it'll happen. Nothing should have to stop it, but I certainly won't encourage it. Be free, you deserve it.

comment this

if you read my blogs and shit


neeega

hoooooooly shit!

insomnia insomnia insomnia insomnia insomnia TAKE OVER.


i'm glad i've been skipping school recently to sit here at home sleeping.. because i can't sleep at night.

but as long as i'm passing all my classes, i'm fine :D


i love when fucking nooobs on wow try and make fun of other people "dude r u the mental capasitie of a retard?" GRAMMAR&SPELLING PLEASE ASSHOLE.

grasscity.com

Hey,

Give that description to the people who know me best, Mitchell and Cole. You're wrong. You didn't know me when I was with any other girl. I agree, what you saw of me, was all fake. You never knew the real me, don't even try and say you did. As much as you want to say you have me figured out, it's not true. But think what you want, really.

typin on and on...

Fresher than tony rebels vestibules at saturday market festivals. My incredible baby was, plentiful. Over the years I met a few, none of them compared to you. Preparin you to make food bearable, somethin terrible, lets see. You fruitful, beautiful, smart, lovable, huggable. Doable like art, suitable to be part. Of my life, coppertone, oh you copyright infringement. Pay you bidness ten cents, way back in the day. Its like I'm standin there you know appreciatin gods design. And then you showed up, its like you read my mind. Damn shes fine, I think I add the r-e, in front of that. And see if she d, to get, with a kid like me.



You inspire me, i desire thee, chance to see you again. Just wanna show you, I'm becoming a man. I remember these words, "andrew, don't ever forget this, I love you so much." Now, I'd give anything to hear such. Tryin to make it through the day, no possible way. I miss you more and more, farther away our chances get of talkin again. I just don't wanna sin, high off weed and lots of gin. I take time, to think about you, dime. Just remember baby, when I told you, you the shit. I really meant it, and that's it. That's all there is to us, you were perfect, our lives weren't hectic. This is the real world baby, it aint no fairy tale. But I guess, it's been awhile since we had a chance to rail.



To make it simple for you let's call 'em the bosses. They take money while the people take losses. To work for free. And we still barely get paid enough to eat. That's what I told you, I be saying in my vocals. That's why the woman got the gun on the logo. The star is the future, that we gonna create. Where nobody steal money from the things we make. The revolution takes time and space. But you as a woman gotta know you're place. That's in the front baby. I'm being blunt baby. If the get mad say it's they time of the month baby. Your face is just like the sun when it raises. Thank you for adding beauty to my phrases. Handshakes are promises. Lies can spoil it
Words should be bond and seal. You're not around and I just have to deal.

Blabbin'

Who do you reminisce about?
I remember it like a dream, it was all clean lean accesories. She always asked me to pay her fees.
I always told you if you ever went off in a daze, I promise we won't go our separate ways. This is just how I reminisce. Sometimes, I wish that I could kick it with you. More now, than ever. I wonder, do you take time to reminisce? No lie, really how could I forget you? Sometime, I wanna kick it with you, more now, than ever. Do you ever reminisce? You stand tall, I told you I'd give you all. You know, everything I had, it was global. Baby, how were you so humble? Now, you don't know what I'd give, to show you how I've started to live. I'm far and beyond, I think we can recreate that bond. I refuse to catch another case, where it's me and you, and you can't look me in the face. Let's elevate, yeah I remember what they use to say, let's create a stronger bond, and never break. I wonder, do you take time to reminisce? I'll start takin it day by day, but baby i really miss the way, that you held me, if only you could see, how much you mean to me, now, and forever.


I love you.

Our true selves

Wow I love Mitchell and Cole, the best friends I've ever had, and ever will have. The more I hang out with them, the more I'm getting back to not giving a shit about what people think, and just being my complete self all of the time. I don't care anymore, if people don't like me for being who I really am, then suck it. I'm a natural born hardass. I'm so stoked for this summer. Goodnight ladies and gents.

Jennifer!

Get the hell outta here. You should know better than to get into that shit, especially after watching what happened to Keegan and I last year. I'll always remember what Keegan said,
"Illegal business runs America. Without it, we wouldn't have an economy."
And that's when I realized, he's right! Illegal business DOES run America.
"The economy is the realized social system of production, exchange, distribution, and consumption of goods and services of a country or other area."
Whether it's illegal, underground, or mainstream, the economy needs everyone, and everything. Drugs, money, and food run the world. Without all of it, this world wouldn't function. Drugs keep money flowing, money keeps food flowing, food keeps people alive. I'm sure not very many people will agree with me, because of their grudge against drugs. But I reality hit me. Oh and I realized girls are nothin' but trouble. So I'm going to focus on school from now on, because no relationship, EVER, is worth losing friendships of any sort.

Talk about lies

I don' t wanna hear any of it anymore. And I could care less what happens between us, whether we talk or not. Fuck it, right?

One destructive path

My life so far, has been quite a ride. I've destroyed everything I come across, especially my social life. I've went through friends faster than I can say I have no real friends. I was outrageous last year, with my drinking, and my smoking. How many school sesh's do I need to have before I realize that drugs don't get you through school? I couldn't wait for that lunch sesh every morning that I woke up. I was stoked for that night, to get really drunk. I was so ready to stay up all night and get an hour of sleep before school. The way I treated girls last year, was unacceptable. I think about it, and I want to talk to each one of my ex's and apologize for how I treated them. I was a pretty verbally abusive boyfriend last year, mostly caused by the things I did. I was a liar, a cheater, and an asshole. I played girls all of freshmen year, acting like another girl didn't even exist. Looking back at my old messages made me think about a lot. Almost everyone knew what I did last year, but no one knew how much I suffered. They figured I controlled my drinking, and only him, her, and my cousin knew the truth. Let's start off with you dude, you knew everything. No guy was ever close to me, throughout my whole life. You were an enabler, but you understood. You drank, smoked, and partied with me but always kept me safe. I don't think you'll ever know how thankful I am. No one will ever really realize how much I cared about you. You saved my life dude. Sometimes I would outgrow drinking, or at least I thought I did. But somehow, a couple nights later I would be taking vikoden and chuggin' beers. You were my bestfriend, and I miss you. On to you, girl, you did a lot for me. We were off and on all year, but you were always there for me. For some reason, I was so hesitant to say how I felt to you. You never judged me, and tried helping me with my problem, but I was just so nervous around you. You picked me up every night I would fall in the bushes, or the middle of the street, or the river. The first time I said I love you to you, I was wasted. You didn't care though, you said it back. And it felt good because I didn't rush into saying it. We were already together for a couple months. Anyway, the point is, I told you everything and you saved me last year also. You were the only girl I could talk to you about my problem. When your dad died, I know it hit you pretty hard. It really seemed like I didn't care because I never stopped anything like you asked. Whenever you'd talk about him, I'd be busy saying "Hang on, lemme crush this bowl." I'm sorry for that. Keegan, you corrupted me, and I love you more than you know. I need you to come home, help me again. I can't raise myself, you know how dad is. I know my life was rough last year, and you know that too, but I'm sure nothing compares to what you're dealing with right now. I miss you calling me, and telling me what went on in the day. You send letters to aunt cindy, because she's your mom. But send something to me, I get all of my information from her. And you know how much she moves around. It's just hard without you, I've gone through a lot. I feel like when you come back, if you come back, that it'll almost be like we will have to meet each other again. You've been gone for about 3 years now. You came back last year, because you knew it was gonna be hard, with what was going on at home. I want to thank you, you truly will never know what you've done in my life. You are my only hero, that will ever be in my life. You've had ten times the amount of problems I've had, and you didn't have anyone. Just come back that's all I ask. I love you. I'm gonna try going through the stage I went through last year. When I got out of it, things started going perfect. This time, I won't have Keegan. I won't have anyone, and that's what I want. I need to fall on my own, I don't want people picking me up. I'm gonna hit rock bottom, and get myself up. Thanks to everyone who is going to try though.

When We Were Kids

Today, I experienced a really weird feeling. Almost like a feeling, that came from the past. Now normally, feelings like that for me are bad. But today it was good, and really made me think. Maybe it's the sun, or the weather in general, maybe it's how the people I was with were acting. I don't know, but I liked it. I realized how cultured our society really is. I was on the bus, sitting across from an African woman, speaking Swahili to her daughter, in front of me was a mexican, behind me were two Italian guys, talking to each other, in Italian. I really hope this summer, is like last summer. The good part of last summer that is, so everything except for the drinking and smoking. The sun is bringing out so many GOOD memories, and I love that feeling. New friends bring new memories. I still wish I had my old friends though, but maybe there's a reason they're gone.

Old Memories

I went through a lot this weekend. If it wasn't for Michael, Avieta, and Bryant. I would really probably either be dead right now, in jail, or in the hospital. It reminded me so much, of what I use to go through, and everything that happened to me. I took my aderall that morning, and took 3 tylennol a half an hour before. I got so out of control, and the amount I drank, was fucking retarded. I could have died on my aderall alone. But I took painkillers, what the fuck dude? What's my problem? I used to do that all the time, sure, but now I have no reason to. I blacked out, having my friends, and the closest one to me, worry about whether I would wake up or not. They did so much for me that night, and in general. They carried me out of the bushes, off the ground, out of the car, and out of the shower. I mean, if someone fucking picks you up, and puts you in the shower when you have puke all over yourself, I'm pretty sure they care about you, more than anyone ever will. I fucked up that night, and I don't wanna go back to how it used to be. To where it was a normal routine, to get drunk and take pills, and pass out not knowing if I'd still live. I'm ridiculous, and I can't do that anymore. I'm sorry, for putting you guys through that.

Another day

today was hell, and tomorrow will be too.

It's not much but it's something

I have very very few friends, but the ones I have, I appreciate more than anything. They understand when I'm going through hard times, when I'm struggling with something, when I need to be somewhere, or when I can't hang out. Today, was a pretty hard day. Especially walking around, realizing how many people don't talk to me anymore. I've blown them off, and I didn't make a good impression. People really dislike me now, and dread talking to me. Today, it was weird when I was in the car. Because I know Sully is a little kid, but he's known A LOT about me, because how close I've been to his family. And today, when he said "You should go to sheldon, then you and avieta could always see each other. Wouldn't you be happy?" And then I realized, I don't update people on my life anymore. I'm anti-social, and that's the fucking root of my problems. No one knows what's going on with me anymore, or how I'm doing, or what I'm struggling with. When I was walking around school today, no one said hi, when I tried talking to people I used to talk to, they told me to go find some friends. Is there something wrong with my attitude? It was clearly visible I wasn't in a good mood, at all. I was sitting on the bench, and Sean got up, and said "Let's go on a walk." He was the only one to really talk to me today, and he could tell something was wrong. I talked to him, as we walked around the school, and I told him what was wrong. For someone, that was just an accquiantance, he helped more than most of my "friends" did. I never actually, felt the way I did today. I felt like something was ending, or gone. I felt terrible. I really wish people would understand.

So nice

I’m in love with the way that you smile and
the way that you look in my eyes, it’s so nice.
I’m in love with the things that we do when
we go out it feels right, it so nice.
I’m in love with the way that we chat all
night, get along and have no fights, it’s so nice.
Who says relationships can’t work out
I swear man that’s not right.
I’m in love with the way that you talk,
I’m in love with the way that you walk its so nice.
I’m in love with the perfume that you wear.
I swear that no one can say that’s not nice.
I’m in love with the way that you
say I love you all the time. I swear that so nice.
I’m in love with the way that your
all mine and I’m in love with the way your so right.

I'm in love with the way you sing along to this song
everytime you hear it coming on.
i'm in love, i'm in love.
I'm in love with the way that you can relate
to this song everytime you hear it coming on.
And i'm in love with the way that you come
to my shows and show your support its so nice.
I'm in love with the things that you do and
i'm in love with the way that you dont have a clue look.
I'm in love with you.
It's true stories man, look
I'm in love with the way you tell your friends
that you love me all the time. It's so nice.
I'm in love with the way that you sleep and
I'm in love with the way you speak. It's so nice.
I'm in love with the way that we've come
so far in a relationship. It's so nice.
And who says that relationships can't last years.
I swear that's not right.

I'm in love with the way you sing along to the
song everytime you hear it coming on.
I'm in love, I'm in love.
I'm in Love with the way that we make Love.
And I'm in love with the way that you lady like and
don't say dumb words like bruv.
It's so nice everything's perfect.
And I'm in love with the way that your worth it.
And i'm in love with way you turfed them,
them dumb boys them hungry guys.
I dont care coz theyre not worth it.
I'm in love with the way that I'm your man and
I'm in love with the way that you respect my fans.
I'm in love with the way that we can still
walk down the street and hold hands.
I'm in love with you heart and soul
I'm in love with the way your beautiful.
I'm in love with these lyrics they're meaningful.
I'm in love with you.
It's true stories.
I'm in love with the way you sing along to the song when
it comes on and u hear it coming on. I'm in love, I'm in love.
Swear down that's all I've got to say yeah but that should be enough yeah.

:)